If you are one of those women who love Valentine’s Day, complete with hearts, flowers, and jewelry, I’d suggest you decline a second date with my sons.
Although I’m a Romance novelist, I don’t do Valentine’s Day. I’ve been married for almost twenty-five years, so I’ve experienced plenty of romance. But my husband has strict instructions NOT to pick up a dozen red roses on his way home from work today. Any candy, we’ll buy tomorrow when it’s 50% off. And the only diamonds I need are the one’s in my wedding ring, the baseball parks we go to on a date, or if we get more snow, I might be ready to try a black diamond on the slopes.
For me, romantic gestures should be personal. Not the same as everyone else’s. Drive by any street corner in America, and there will be a rose stand. Sweet, but hardly original.
Now, when my husband ordered roses made out of real baseball leather, with the titles of my books, that was romantic.
One of our more memorable anniversaries, was the time we’d booked a hotel in San Francisco and were headed to the San Francisco Giants game. My in-laws met us at the Little League park to pick up the boys after our oldest’s game. We were just about to throw the overnight bag in the car when the phone rang. The youngest had hit his head on the corner of the desk and they were taking him in for stitches. We met them at the hospital, and several hours later, we heard the first pitch on the car radio. The final out was recorded while we crossed the Bay Bridge. But there was a Prom in our hotel, and we still had a good time in the city.
More importantly, my husband showed what was most important, making sure our son was okay. Sure, his parents could have handled it, and we could have still made our date, but we had a good time in the ER waiting room, just spending time with our son.
Family is important to our Romance. We got married on his Nani’s 83rd birthday. Got engaged on our way to visit his parents. My niece recorded the backup vocals at our rehearsal dinner–she was three months old, but she’s going to be a star. We stopped off at our foreign-exchange brother’s house on our honeymoon.
We’ve taken the boys to many of the places we stopped on our honeymoon–Yellowstone, the Great Potato Museum in Idaho, Grand Tetons. We showed them the spot along the Silver Fork of the American River where we got engaged. We’re hoping to do a family river trip on the Yampa this summer, if we can get the permits.
So, my boys have grown up seeing that romance is something you do over time. Not a certain way on a certain day. They will find their own ways to share their love that doesn’t include a box of chocolates, (especially from the one who’s allergic to nuts, he couldn’t kiss a girl after she ate most Valentine’s candies). Our son might buy a girl a new PFD to go rafting with him, or a new helmet to go skiing with him. Or maybe he’ll sing a love song.
I suppose there’s the possibility that my sons will rebel and go for more traditional expressions of Romance.
They might even get really creative and give their mother’s books as gifts to their sweethearts.